In the past several months, many YouTubers have been creating DIY-style videos showing that virtually anything can be fixed with ramen noodles. Finally, the government has caught on and they are planning to fix the blown nuclear reactor in Chernobyl with everyone’s favorite college meal. Continue reading “The Russian Government Is Planning To Fix The Chernobyl Reactor With Ramen Noodles, Per Sources”
Is that big yellow thing up in the sky just more fake news created by giant media outlets or the government? 33 out of 100 people think yes. Continue reading “One Third of the Population Doesn’t Believe in the Sun, Survey Shows”
A creationist by the name of Bobby Johnstone out of Florida claims the only proof we need that God created Earth and all the animals is the fact that T-Rex arms are so short which inhibit the ability to masturbate. Continue reading “Creationist Claims That God Made T-Rex Arms Short So They Couldn’t Masturbate”
A new study out of France has cleared up a mystery that we’ve all thought about at least once or twice in our lives: what do you call a bug with wings? The answer? You guessed it – a flying bug. Continue reading “Bugs Flying Around With Wings Are Flying Bugs, Study Shows”
Something smells fishy.. it’s pollution.
Way back in the year 2015, Alex Jones went on a rant which included a theory that the government has been putting chemicals in the water that “turn the friggin’ frogs gay”. Continue reading “A Private Company Is Funding A New Chemical To Turn The Gay Frogs Back To Straight”
New groundbreaking evidence suggests that ducks have been fooling us all these years. Continue reading “Ducks Don’t Actually Float – Their Legs Are So Long That They Can Walk On The River Bed”
Everyone has been wondering what new features will be added to the next Tesla. We now have the answer: the new Tesla will not move out of the way of oncoming deer. Continue reading “The New Tesla Will Not Move Out Of The Way Of Oncoming Deer”
Thank you Harvard, very cool!
I remember that first math class where they started introducing letters into the equations. It was a real mind fuck. But it turns out it was all a sham. An expert claims the sole purpose of algebra is to re-introduce the alphabet to dumb teenagers that forgot it. Continue reading “Expert Says Algebra is Made Up and its Only Purpose is to Re-Introduce the Alphabet to Dumb Teenagers”
Yeah Science, Bitch! 👊🚽🔬
Continue reading “Pee Is Now Most Powerful Liquid For Removing Shit Stains From Toilet Bowls.”
Do you ever feel like Siri just isn’t enough? Well throw your worries away because Apple just announced a new Siri – you will now be able to talk to your best buddy from the FBI whenever you want! Continue reading “New iPhone Update Will Have a Siri-like FBI Feature So You Can Talk to the FBI Anytime”
Fun fact for your Monday: did you know that in Europe, “Bigfoot” is referred to as “Bigmeter”? You learn something new every day! Continue reading “In Europe, Bigfoot is called Bigmeter”
Ludwig Van Beethoven was living well in the Classical Era while all his poor constituents were still living in the Baroque Era.
Continue reading “Beethoven Was Not Deaf, He Had In Airpods™ And Everyone Around Him Was Broke, New Theory Suggest”
As more and more stories of dedicated gamers shidding their pants come to light, a company has finally come up with a solution to the problem: Gaming Diapers. Continue reading “Gaming Diapers Are Hitting The Shelves Next Week”
The United States Government has reached day 21 of the shutdown and already your assigned F.B.I. agent misses you and wants to see you.
Continue reading “Your Laptop F.B.I. Guy Has Missed You Since The Government Shutdown”
It appears we finally landed on hetrosexuality when it comes to the wild game of gender dice that the radical left seems to play.
Continue reading “Gay man impregnates transgender partner who identifies as male”
It’s been the age old debate amongst millions for over a millenia: “Do you like pineapple on pizza?” And the answer is usually a resounding ‘No’ when people with a high IQ are asked.
Continue reading “Dodo Birds Became Extinct Because They Liked Pineapple on Pizza, Experts Claim”
One of the largest multinational technology companies in the world just got a lot more hip for the majority of its white users.
Thanks Microsoft, very cool!
Continue reading “Microsoft is letting customers use the n word”
YouTube has been getting a lot of criticism as of late due to their most recent edition of “YouTube Rewind” and our lord and savior Elon Musk has come to the rescue once again. Continue reading “Elon Musk Buys Youtube To Delete YouTube Rewind 2018”
