As if 40 pizzas in 30 days wasn’t incredible enough. The Papa himself has vowed to try and beat his Guinness World Record (probably) of 40 pizzas in 30 days by eating 41 pizzas next month. Wow! Continue reading “Papa John Says He Will Attempt to Eat 41 Pizzas in December”
Last week, Elon Musk unveiled Tesla’s newest creation, the “Cybertruck” and the memes quickly followed.
‘Nicolas Cage will be played by John Travolta in the new Nicolas Cage movie.’ reports Forbidden News.Continue reading “Nicolas Cage will be played by John Travolta in the new Nicolas Cage movie.”
Imagine, you’re home and in your pajamas. You just spent the entire day binge watching The Office, like you always do, making zero effort to look like a productive member of society and then needing like just one or two things from the grocery store. Its 6pm and you decide to take a chance and go. Continue reading “Looking like garbage increases your chance of seeing people you know at the store by 90%, study shows”
“Our chickens are happier than you’ll ever be.” – said the motto of this has-been business.Continue reading “Happy Chicken Farm Shut Down After Cocaine-Fueled Poultry Orgy.”
An elderly woman was rushed to the hospital last week for “panic attacks” after her super-hip, Millennial grandson repeatedly responded with “OK Boomer” to everything she said.
“What do you mean by my ‘fedora isn’t considered a trait’?” – Local Hipster, 21Continue reading “Hipsters Forced To Find A Personality After Being Declared A Trend.”
Thanks to Woken News, we all now know that breathing air is linked to staying alive. But new reports suggest that air might be the human equivalent to Superman’s kryptonite. Continue reading “Air is Poisonous to Humans; It Just Takes a Long Time to Kill Us, Report Says”
Her culture is not your costume.Continue reading “Slutty Costumes Banned For Appropriating Your Mom”
Next epic romantic saga in “White People Almost Kissing In The Rain”.Continue reading “Coming Soon To Theatres: The Facebook”
A Twitter user by the name of @Babyshoujo tweeted a picture of a starfish with an ass that may very well put the Kardashians to shame.
Imagine you’re next in line for lunch after having been called gay for wearing your favorite fedora.Continue reading “69% of high schoolers say they feel soothed when lunch ladies call them ‘suga’ or ‘baby’. Nice.”
Whether it’s truly wanting to die or just pure indifference to staying alive, Millennials all over the world are doing the unthinkable by volunteering to be euthanized for scientific research. Continue reading “Millennials are volunteering to be euthanized for scientific research”
They’ve finally done it!Continue reading “Engineers Have Finally Developed A Dildo Big Enough To Satisfy Your Mom.”
It’s truly a remarkable feat that many doctors and scientists are calling a miracle. Elderly people with Alzheimer’s are becoming super-humans right before our very eyes. Continue reading “People with Alzheimer’s are starting to float because they forgot about gravity”
The long awaited day that millions of us lied about going to is finally here and it’s only about to get bigger.Continue reading “Florida teen Kyle starts massive mosh pit with the first thousand people outside Area 51”
Pennywise doesn’t discriminate, he’ll fuck you up anyways. #EQUALITY 🌈Continue reading “Pennywise Is Not Anti-Gay; People Are Just Pro-Stupid.”
Finally, a sports story that has nothing to do with Lebron James or Tom Brady! Last week, “Bang Bros” (the popular Adult Entertainment company that we all know and love) submitted a $10 million bid for the naming rights of Miami Heat’s arena. Continue reading “BangBros Submits $10 Million Bid to Change Name of Miami Heat’s Arena”