Just a quick heads up, vegans. You are being replaced by owners of Air Fryers. Continue reading “Woman wins award for not telling literally every person she knows that she owns an Air Fryer” →

How dirty is money? Very dirty. Each dollar has on average 6.9 billion germs on it according to the Science Institute of Science. Virus and Disease experts are now claiming that laundering your money may help in stopping the spread of COVID-19. Continue reading “‘Laundering your money’ is now recommended due to COVID-19” →

For the last several months, governors and other states officials have been trying to find the best ways to flatten the curve of COVID-19 cases. Finally, they believe they found the solution: Continue reading “Governors are considering requiring special suits to be worn to combat COVID-19” →

It’s 2020 and being politically correct is more important for businesses than it ever has been. That’s why popular US food chain “Cracker Barrel” is considering changing it’s name to a more appropriate “Caucasian Barrel”.  Continue reading “Cracker Barrel considering changing name to “Caucasian Barrel” to be more politically correct” →

The Internet has been trying to dissect Elon Musk’s newborn son’s name all week. Well, the answer may have finally arrived: it’s Kyle. His son’s name is Kyle. Continue reading “Elon Musk’s newborn son ‘X Æ A-12’ is actually pronounced ‘Kyle’, per sources” →

All throughout the country, middle-aged women named Karen are sliding into deep depression over the fact that their cursive “Gather” signs no longer make sense due to the Coronavirus. Continue reading “Karens Everywhere Are Mourning The Fact That Their ‘Gather’ Kitchen Signs No Longer Apply” →

Just another wholesome story about a Chick-fil-a employee going above and beyond to secure a top spot in heaven. Continue reading “Chick-fil-a Employee Who Worked 69 Hours In a Week Worked an Extra Hour for Free to Please the Lord” →

A few months ago, Baby Yoda took the meme world by storm. But now, there’s a new baby in town. And everyone hates him. I present: The Ice Age Baby. Continue reading “The Ice Age Baby Needs to be Stopped” →

While pretty much everyone on the Internet (including us) has been debating the meme of the decade for the last month, one notable legend has been forgotten: Shaggy. And he’s reportedly back with a vengeance to claim his rightful throne as the greatest meme of the decade. Continue reading “Shaggy Uses 0.69% of His Power to Re-Emerge One Last Time Before End of Decade. Nice.” →

A Florida man shocked the world as he successfully de-escalated a bar fight this weekend. I know – unbelievable. Continue reading “Florida Man Shockingly Resolves Conflict At Local Bar” →

Earlier this year, we wrote about a woman giving birth to a fucking pizza. But a woman in Albuquerque just took it up a notch by giving birth to identical twin tacos. Yes, you read that right – tacos. Continue reading “Woman Gives Birth to Twin Tacos” →

In an unbelievable turn of events, a discovery was made this morning that Baby Yoda is actually played by Kevin Hart – actor, comedian, and son of Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson. Continue reading “Baby Yoda is Actually Played by Kevin Hart, per sources” →

As if The Rock hasn’t already given us enough with his on-screen performances in movies like Baywatch, The Tooth Fairy, and The Game Plan. Now he’s given us all an early Christmas present: a happy and healthy Baby Yoda! Continue reading “Heartwarming: The Rock Gives Birth To A Healthy Baby Yoda” →

An elderly woman was rushed to the hospital last week for “panic attacks” after her super-hip, Millennial grandson repeatedly responded with “OK Boomer” to everything she said.

Continue reading “Woman Hospitalized by ‘OK Boomer’ Comments, Calls it the N-Word of Ageism” →