They’ve finally done it!
Continue reading “Engineers Have Finally Developed A Dildo Big Enough To Satisfy Your Mom.”Engineers Have Finally Developed A Dildo Big Enough To Satisfy Your Mom.
Making A Social Media Account For Your Pets Is Now A Punishable Offense
A new law may have owners of pets such as “Doug The Pug” and “Marnie The Dog” on edge. If law enforcement deems that you’re taking advantage of your pet by acquiring large brand deals and social clout, you may be at risk. Continue reading “Making A Social Media Account For Your Pets Is Now A Punishable Offense”
Several People Injured At Silent Disco Because They Couldn’t Hear The Fire Alarm
Last week, tragedy struck the small town of Roanoke, Oregon. LIT, a popular new club in the area, was hosting the town’s first silent disco. It was 10:30 on a Friday night when a small electrical fire turned into a serious wildfire that ravaged the club. The flames raged on through the night with the music in everyone’s headphones. Continue reading “Several People Injured At Silent Disco Because They Couldn’t Hear The Fire Alarm”
There’s a Petition to Legally Change the Crocodile Name to ‘Swamp Dogs’
Like the true heroes we are, we’ve created a petition to officially change the name of crocodiles to “swamp dogs”. Because let’s face it – crocodile is a weak ass name compared to swamp dog. Continue reading “There’s a Petition to Legally Change the Crocodile Name to ‘Swamp Dogs’”
One Third of the Population Doesn’t Believe in the Sun, Survey Shows
Is that big yellow thing up in the sky just more fake news created by giant media outlets or the government? 33 out of 100 people think yes. Continue reading “One Third of the Population Doesn’t Believe in the Sun, Survey Shows”
Warner Bros Trolled The Entire Internet With Pokémon Detective Pikachu “Full Release” on YouTube
Did you fall for it? Because I definitely did. Continue reading “Warner Bros Trolled The Entire Internet With Pokémon Detective Pikachu “Full Release” on YouTube”
Post Malone Gets Face Tattoo of Post Malone on His Face
The very successful young rapper has finally done what no other rapper has done before and got a tattoo of himself on his already tatted up face. Continue reading “Post Malone Gets Face Tattoo of Post Malone on His Face”
Whether You Like It Or Not, The New “Sonic The Hedgehog” Trailer Has Arrived
Much to everyone’s confusion and dismay, the trailer for ‘Sonic The Hedgehog’ was released today on YouTube and the general consensus is… “Why?” Continue reading “Whether You Like It Or Not, The New “Sonic The Hedgehog” Trailer Has Arrived”
Spoiler Warning: Game Of Thrones New Episode Will Be Easter-Themed
The Game Of Throne’s second episode of the final season will air tonight and it’s apparent that the writers were fully aware that the episode coincides with Easter Sunday. Continue reading “Spoiler Warning: Game Of Thrones New Episode Will Be Easter-Themed”
All Plants Are Fake Store-Bought Plants From IKEA, Study Suggests
Have you ever wondered why the plants outside look almost as good as fake plants that you buy at the store? A new study claims to have found the answer: the government has been planting fake IKEA plants outside while everyone is sleeping. Continue reading “All Plants Are Fake Store-Bought Plants From IKEA, Study Suggests”
Florida Man Let’s ‘Jesus Take The Wheel’ – Destroys Car.
Florida officials are opening an investigation after Jesus Christ of Nazareth took over driving for a Florida man and wrecked his car.
Continue reading “Florida Man Let’s ‘Jesus Take The Wheel’ – Destroys Car.”
House Cats Are Small Robots That Collect Data On Humans
It’s been a mystery for ages – why do cats behave the way they do? New theories have surfaced that may explain their standoffish behavior: cats may be little spies that are collecting data on their human owners. Continue reading “House Cats Are Small Robots That Collect Data On Humans”
Street Workers Are Selling Men The Gospel Of Christ.
1 Like = 1 Prayer
Continue reading “Street Workers Are Selling Men The Gospel Of Christ.”
New Theory Suggests That Dr. Pepper Is Just Barbecue Water
A new theory that “Dr. Pepper is just barbecue water” went viral on Twitter this week. But perhaps the most convincing evidence to prove this theory true is Dr. Pepper’s cryptic response to the tweet: Continue reading “New Theory Suggests That Dr. Pepper Is Just Barbecue Water”
Twins are Just One Person Moving Back and Forth Really Fast
Are twins really two people? Or are they just one person moving back and forth really fast? Some scientists believe the latter. Continue reading “Twins are Just One Person Moving Back and Forth Really Fast”
Birds Disappeared During The Shutdown, Finally Proving They Are Controlled By The Government
Think back to this past January. Do you remember seeing any birds? Yeah, I didn’t think so. Continue reading “Birds Disappeared During The Shutdown, Finally Proving They Are Controlled By The Government”
Man Respects Woman.. Respects Her All Night Long.
Dat soul tho. 👌😖💦
Continue reading “Man Respects Woman.. Respects Her All Night Long.”
New Study Shows That Virgins Have Less Sex Than Parents
A recent study out of Kansas City shows that even parents are having more sex than virgins. I know – very hard to believe. Continue reading “New Study Shows That Virgins Have Less Sex Than Parents”
City Has Launched A Full Investigation Into Why Their Sewer Smells
A city in New Jersey has launched a full investigation to finally figure out why their sewer smells. Continue reading “City Has Launched A Full Investigation Into Why Their Sewer Smells”
Study Shows That Homicide Victims Never Talk To The Police
“Solving all these murder cases would be so much easier if the victims would just speak up. It’s very frustrating sometimes.” said Boyt County Sheriff this week when he was asked about all the unsolved homicide cases in his jurisdiction. Continue reading “Study Shows That Homicide Victims Never Talk To The Police”