đşđ¸đşđ¸đşđ¸ America: Fuâ˘k Yeah! đşđ¸đşđ¸đşđ¸
Continue reading “Thanksgiving: Millions Of Americans Giving Thanks For Annual Retail Purge.”Thanksgiving: Millions Of Americans Giving Thanks For Annual Retail Purge.
Happy Chicken Farm Shut Down After Cocaine-Fueled Poultry Orgy.
“Our chickens are happier than you’ll ever be.” – said the motto of this has-been business.
Continue reading “Happy Chicken Farm Shut Down After Cocaine-Fueled Poultry Orgy.”Hipsters Forced To Find A Personality After Being Declared A Trend.
“What do you mean by my ‘fedora isn’t considered a trait’?” – Local Hipster, 21
Continue reading “Hipsters Forced To Find A Personality After Being Declared A Trend.”Slutty Costumes Banned For Appropriating Your Mom
Her culture is not your costume.
Continue reading “Slutty Costumes Banned For Appropriating Your Mom”Coming Soon To Theatres: The Facebook
Next epic romantic saga in “White People Almost Kissing In The Rain”.
Continue reading “Coming Soon To Theatres: The Facebook”Engineers Have Finally Developed A Dildo Big Enough To Satisfy Your Mom.
They’ve finally done it!
Continue reading “Engineers Have Finally Developed A Dildo Big Enough To Satisfy Your Mom.”Making A Social Media Account For Your Pets Is Now A Punishable Offense
A new law may have owners of pets such as “Doug The Pug” and “Marnie The Dog” on edge. If law enforcement deems that youâre taking advantage of your pet by acquiring large brand deals and social clout, you may be at risk. Continue reading “Making A Social Media Account For Your Pets Is Now A Punishable Offense”
Several People Injured At Silent Disco Because They Couldnât Hear The Fire Alarm
Last week, tragedy struck the small town of Roanoke, Oregon. LIT, a popular new club in the area, was hosting the townâs first silent disco. It was 10:30 on a Friday night when a small electrical fire turned into a serious wildfire that ravaged the club. The flames raged on through the night with the music in everyoneâs headphones. Continue reading “Several People Injured At Silent Disco Because They Couldnât Hear The Fire Alarm”
Thereâs a Petition to Legally Change the Crocodile Name to âSwamp Dogsâ
Like the true heroes we are, weâve created a petition to officially change the name of crocodiles to âswamp dogsâ. Because letâs face it – crocodile is a weak ass name compared to swamp dog. Continue reading “Thereâs a Petition to Legally Change the Crocodile Name to âSwamp Dogsâ”
One Third of the Population Doesnât Believe in the Sun, Survey Shows
Is that big yellow thing up in the sky just more fake news created by giant media outlets or the government? 33 out of 100 people think yes. Continue reading “One Third of the Population Doesnât Believe in the Sun, Survey Shows”
Warner Bros Trolled The Entire Internet With PokĂŠmon Detective Pikachu âFull Releaseâ on YouTube
Did you fall for it? Because I definitely did. Continue reading “Warner Bros Trolled The Entire Internet With PokĂŠmon Detective Pikachu âFull Releaseâ on YouTube”
Post Malone Gets Face Tattoo of Post Malone on His Face
The very successful young rapper has finally done what no other rapper has done before and got a tattoo of himself on his already tatted up face. Continue reading “Post Malone Gets Face Tattoo of Post Malone on His Face”
Whether You Like It Or Not, The New âSonic The Hedgehogâ Trailer Has Arrived
Much to everyoneâs confusion and dismay, the trailer for âSonic The Hedgehogâ was released today on YouTube and the general consensus is… âWhy?â Continue reading “Whether You Like It Or Not, The New âSonic The Hedgehogâ Trailer Has Arrived”
Spoiler Warning: Game Of Thrones New Episode Will Be Easter-Themed
The Game Of Throne’s second episode of the final season will air tonight and it’s apparent that the writers were fully aware that the episode coincides with Easter Sunday. Continue reading “Spoiler Warning: Game Of Thrones New Episode Will Be Easter-Themed”
All Plants Are Fake Store-Bought Plants From IKEA, Study Suggests
Have you ever wondered why the plants outside look almost as good as fake plants that you buy at the store? A new study claims to have found the answer: the government has been planting fake IKEA plants outside while everyone is sleeping. Continue reading “All Plants Are Fake Store-Bought Plants From IKEA, Study Suggests”
Florida Man Let’s ‘Jesus Take The Wheel’ – Destroys Car.
Florida officials are opening an investigation after Jesus Christ of Nazareth took over driving for a Florida man and wrecked his car.
Continue reading “Florida Man Let’s ‘Jesus Take The Wheel’ – Destroys Car.”
House Cats Are Small Robots That Collect Data On Humans
Itâs been a mystery for ages – why do cats behave the way they do? New theories have surfaced that may explain their standoffish behavior: cats may be little spies that are collecting data on their human owners. Continue reading “House Cats Are Small Robots That Collect Data On Humans”
Street Workers Are Selling Men The Gospel Of Christ.
1 Like = 1 Prayer
Continue reading “Street Workers Are Selling Men The Gospel Of Christ.”
New Theory Suggests That Dr. Pepper Is Just Barbecue Water
A new theory that âDr. Pepper is just barbecue waterâ went viral on Twitter this week. But perhaps the most convincing evidence to prove this theory true is Dr. Pepperâs cryptic response to the tweet: Continue reading “New Theory Suggests That Dr. Pepper Is Just Barbecue Water”
Twins are Just One Person Moving Back and Forth Really Fast
Are twins really two people? Or are they just one person moving back and forth really fast? Some scientists believe the latter. Continue reading “Twins are Just One Person Moving Back and Forth Really Fast”