'Nicolas Cage will be played by John Travolta in the new Nicolas Cage movie.' reports Forbidden News. The actor says he believes he's the most qualified to play. John Travolta has played Nicolas Cage before in Face/Off (1997) so for most fans it comes as no surprise that he was cast to play him again... Continue Reading →
"What do you mean by my 'fedora isn't considered a trait'?" - Local Hipster, 21 Uh oh. Hold onto your vape pens hipsters - because you're not going to like what you're about to read next.. Confirmed sources have declared that you are in fact, unironically -- a trend. That's right. You're the very thing... Continue Reading →
It's science. If you thought gay windmills weren't fabulous enough, buckle up because this one has been under our nose the entire time.. or above us to be specific. According to a new case study conducted by The Official Institute Of Science, chemtrails while dismissed as hogwash consistently by the science community has been proven... Continue Reading →
I laughed the first 400 fuckin' times too! Oh, Karen. You could see the enthusiam in both her eyes that she was about to make the joke of the century. Event happened at a local Shopper's Drug Mart in Toronto, Canada when her item was unable to make a scan. She sought the opportunity to... Continue Reading →
Kids wanted toys. Now they gettin' lit. Originally reported by Huzlers, this is one tale of a Chicago-based Santa that wanted to spread the magic of hoe hoe hoe's: CHICAGO – A Chicago teenager named Tyshaun Granger was reportedly fired from his job at McDonalds for allegedly placing his “mixtape” in children’s Happy Meal’s, rather... Continue Reading →
The greatest adventure of them all! What would seem like a story straight out of a J. R. R. Tolkien's collection was really an epic journey of much greater proportion. Struggle of most, conquest of many but one man did it! One man had located one of the most curious creatures of all: The G-Spot.... Continue Reading →
Dead. 💀💀💀 Dutch doctors are facing financial hardships with changing trends of social media among youth. Medical doctor Eva van Waeerden gives her recount of the change. "(Dutch) euthanasia market grew when the adolescents switched to using expressions such as 'kill me,' but the market made it big when suicide pact parties and family euthanasia... Continue Reading →
Florida officials are opening an investigation after Jesus Christ of Nazareth took over driving for a Florida man and wrecked his car. A 23 year old is claiming the son of god took over driving for him late Tuesday evening after the man admitted to having a fun night out with friends. I was already... Continue Reading →
How many vegans does it take to spread the news? Don't worry, they will fucking tell you.. Vegans rejoice! According to scientists that conducted a recent study (Source: Some random mommy blog), you can now get the essential nutrients by telling everyone you're vegan. While Woken News had the intention of writing an entire case... Continue Reading →
