Well well well, it appears Mr. Disappears ain’t disappearing from this arrest.Continue reading “[Spoiler] Thanos gets fucking arrested at the end of Avengers: Endgame”
For the first time ever on Wednesday we saw a black hole but now we are starting to see some real thottery from 55 million light years away.Continue reading “Black hole uses snap chat filter for the first time”
The Event Horizon Telescope stuns the world with the recently discovered image of a black hole. A first of kind.Continue reading “First ever Black Hole image has been released”
A Florida man is facing some serious legal backlash after singing harassing songs and dancing for patients at a local hospital dressed as an Oompa Loompa.Continue reading “Florida man dressed as an Oompa Loompa is under arrest for harassing terminally ill patients with songs”
Sometimes I think Elon does things like this just to give us meme material. He also understands that the younger generation he appeals to are going to be buying his cars.
Saturday Elon released a track in honor of the late and great Harambe. A staple amongst all of us on Woken.
“RIP Harambe, sipping on some Bombay, we on our way to heaven, Amen, Amen,” Musk appears to rap.
“RIP Harambe/ smoking on some strong hay/ in the gorilla zoo and we thinking about you,” he continues.
What can’t this guy do?!
The song had been viewed over 300,000 times as of Sunday afternoon.
A 14 year old girl was found sobbing beside her bed after she learned that her now ex boyfriend shared a ‘s(he) be(lie)ve(d)’ meme on Facebook Thursday morning.Continue reading “14yr old girl found crying after her boyfriend shared a ‘s(he) be(lie)ve(d)’ meme”
“12,000 lbs!? How puny. Do you construct children’s toys?”Continue reading “Elon trolls Ram Trucks asking if they ‘construct children’s toys’.”
Virologists at Grand Canyon University have developed a flu vaccine which is being called “Literally putting Christ in your body”.Continue reading “Scientists putting Holy Water in vaccinations to increase vaccination rates among Christians”
Everyone treats anti-vaxxers like they are bad parents but it is quite the contrary.Continue reading “Anti-Vaxxers Are Good Parents Since They Send Their Kids To Heaven.”
In a series of drunken tweets early one morning J.K. Rowling reveals a laundry list of character details we never imagined.Continue reading “J.K. Rowling Reveals Neville Longbottom Was A Furry In A Drunken Series Of Tweets.”
Hey fam, Dankmin here from Dankest Memes ͡º ͜ʖ ͡º (FB.com/DankestMemesNoice). Today I’m here to announce the GREATEST update so far for Survival of the Dankest. Continue reading “Ever wanted a meme game that runs on potatoes? Here it is: Survival of The Dankest”
Australian born terrorist living in New Zealand kills 49 people and injuring 20 some men, women and children at a Mosque on Friday.Continue reading “New Zealand gunman says ‘subscribe to Pewdiepie’ before killing spree – Pewds sickened”
Imagine being in a coma unable to move or open your eyes but you can still hear everything going on around you.Continue reading “Man claims he heard the nurses farded, shidded and came on his pillow while in a coma”
Two of my favorite things back in the early 2000s has been drawn together and the entire club is crying with me.
Everyone’s favorite ex-bartender is back with a powerful new revelation to help eliminate fossil fuel consumption.Continue reading “AOC wants gas powered vehicles to stop delivering mail and use ‘pigeons or, like, other birds that can’ instead”
The next few lines are my ideas on the script for the new Wolverine movie. Now, i’ve been on a foreskin kick lately with these super heroes so try and follow me:Continue reading “Wolverine needs to get an adamantium foreskin in his next movie”
Top 10 Questions That Science Refuses To Acknowledge.Continue reading “Would Deadpool’s Healing Factor Reverse His Circumcision?”
Get ready to have 4 times the stoping power at destroying your target.Continue reading “Some goober invented a 4-barrelled shotgun so you can kill stuff deader”
Have you ever told yourself that if you step on the cracks you will “break your mother’s back?”Continue reading “Local runner is now gay after stepping on the sidewalk cracks”
The choker is making a cum back. Since it’s debut in the late 1800s the choker has made a handful of appearances at the turn of the century.Continue reading “I Got This $8.99 Choker From Forever 21 And Now I Can’t Stop Doing Anal”