Confirmed: The Covid vaccine will NOT contain a microchip but will contain U2’s new album

Contrary to popular belief, the covid vaccine will have the new U2 album inserted into your body instead of an all knowing location tracking microchip.

Many are arguing that they would rather have a microchip capable of knowing your mood, eating habits and location as opposed to an invasive U2 album.

In 2014 U2 released their album “Songs of Innocence” and gave a free digital copy to 500 million iTunes customers which quickly sparked outrage from some users calling the move “invasive” and “tone-deaf” since it happened close to the iCloud hack.

Read More: Rocks Are Actually Soft and Squishy – They Just Tense Up When We Touch Them

Once again it seems as though U2 has woke up and chosen violence to force their music on millions of people across the globe in the form of the covid-19 vaccine which also appears to be mandated to certain professions and age groups.

Read More: Beethoven Was Not Deaf, He Had In Airpods™ And Everyone Around Him Was Broke, New Theory Suggest

Ironically, many outdoor concerts, air lines and sporting events are already entertaining the idea of a ‘vaccine passport’ which essentially prohibits you from such events unless you have been vaccinated for the covid virus.

Read More: Dogs Lick Us Because We Have Bones Inside And They Want Them, Scientists Say

*Woken News is a satirical news website and our articles are strictly for entertainment purposes. Explore our “About” page for more information.

Thanks for the idea!


Enter your email address to subscribe to WNN and receive notifications of new satirical articles by email.

Leave a Reply

Up ↑