Pro Tip: Just say you have Coronavirus to avoid traffic violations, ya ding dong

People are sleeping on the chance to get out of routine traffic stops and check points by just telling the officer that they have the Caronavirus disease (COVID-19).

One local has taken full advantage of the hysteria:

I have a lead foot, man. I habitually leave for work late and get pulled over for speeding so this sign I made says that I have Corona and boom. It works. I also had this painters mask lying around in the garage so I bring it as a prop and the police won’t even ask me to roll the window down.

Low key, I am usually intoxicated when I’m driving, too. Before work, during or after..at any given time of the day. I don’t discriminate. I also have 6 dui’s, so there’s that.

No body wants anything to do with this virus. Schools and large events have been shutting down all across the globe to avoid the spread of covid-19.

They shut down a Medical conference on Coronavirus because of Coronavirus..

More than 80% of these confirmed cases are not severe. Influenza kills more people annually than the coronavirus and we can thank the media for inducing the panic to unnecessarily levels.

Just do what you’ve been taught and that consists of not touching your face, washing your hands, avoid going out in the public if you can help it and just using common sense hygiene practices.

If you are sick, use sick time and stay home from work. Don’t go out to the store and spread your sickness, cough into your arm or shirt and stay hydrated. You know we are heading into legit idiocracy when the government has to tell you how to take care of yourself.

*Woken News is a satirical news website and our articles are strictly for entertainment purposes. Explore our “About” page for more information.

SUBSCRIBE VIA EMAIL!

Enter your email address to subscribe to WNN and receive notifications of new satirical articles by email.

Leave a Reply

Up ↑