The Coronavirus outbreak has taken a turn for the worse in the last week as the World Health Organization declared the virus a “Global Health Emergency”. However, Millennials all over the world are looking at it as a great opportunity.
“Last year, I volunteered to be euthanized for scientific research. But those bitch-ass boomer doctors said they thought I was ‘too healthy’ and denied my application. But this virus is really intriguing. Next stop: China.” -Blaize Baxter, Millennial from Portland, Oregon
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“I just booked my flight to Wuhan. Flights were pretty much free so I couldn’t pass up this opportunity. This weekend’s gonna be a movie.” -Callum Cunningham, Millennial from Saint Louis, Missouri
Experts are saying this is incredibly dangerous and advise against it. The World Health Organization is trying to prevent millennials from traveling to China by claiming the country has a shortage of avocado toast and dank memes.
But this isn’t stopping millennials from attempting to acquire the sweet release of death. According to Knowledge and Science News, 69,696 people between the ages 23-38 have booked plane tickets to China.
*Woken News is a satirical news website and our articles are strictly for entertainment purposes. Explore our “About” page for more information.