Following the back and forth last week between both countries, Iran has begun strengthening their forces in preparation for a potential war with the U.S.
A drone strike was issued to vibe check the rioting mob of militant Iranians attempting to storm the U.S. Embassy in Iran killing ten people including Qassem Soleimani, an Iranian top military commander.
The Iran Carpet Company has had a surge in orders and just signed a contract with the Iranian Military for mass production of over 100,000 magic carpets.
Expert weaver Razam Arabzadeh says with the help of their antique genie he should have enough wishes to provide a fully staffed and operating shop within a few minutes.
“The genie, he will not just give me the rugs I want here and now. He believes this will provide many Iranians with jobs and he is right but it would be much easier to just have them all created instantly.”
A third world war is highly unlikely and a mandatory draft is not even being thought of because 99% of millenials are overweight, on drugs, didn’t graduate, can’t shoot, can’t run and are more selfish than any other generation to date. This country will not rely on you for safety.
*Woken News is a satirical news website and our articles are strictly for entertainment purposes. Explore our “About” page for more information.