No Homo Is Cancelled For 2020

In a startling announcement from the Faux World Constitution and Parliament Association earlier today, Dr. Luka Trulala has declared No Homo be cancelled for the new year in 2020.

Read More: Dogs Lick Us Because We Have Bones Inside And They Want Them, Scientists Say

More than ever before straight males all across the globe are tucking in their homies with a good night smooch before they go to bed and it’s absolutely not gay.

Read More: Rocks Are Actually Soft and Squishy – They Just Tense Up When We Touch Them

Dr. Trulala tells Woken News:

Listen, it’s not gay to tuck your homies in before bed. More importantly, following it up with a smooch should just come naturally. At first, it was funny to say ‘no homo’ before doing something that society may view as homosexual but these boys are not gay and a friendly smooch only strengthens the bond between broh’s in a heterosexual way.

The doctor also suggests that anything done to your homie that society suggests to be considered homosexual should not require a ‘no homo’ clause because as long as your pee pee doesn’t tingle upon said action then you’re in the clear.

Read More: Florida teen, Kyle, arrested for stealing Monster Energy drinks and punching holes in drywall at a Home Depot

He does go on to say that homosexual males that do recognize they are, in fact, gay should not lie and use the phrase solely as a loophole in order to become aroused at the expense of another unsuspecting broh.

For your science health.

*Woken News is a satirical news website and our articles are strictly for entertainment purposes. Explore our “About” page for more information.


Enter your email address to subscribe to WNN and receive notifications of new satirical articles by email.

Leave a Reply

Up ↑