🎼 I’m dreaming of a non.. colored holiday.. 🎼
Another year, another controversy.
Due to increased pressure from a team of elite social justice warriors and an army of 12 Karens asking to see the manager of Christmas music.
The white man has finally ceded the naming rights to a Christmas classic.
“It’s time to get with the times and give ‘White Christmas’ a name that nobody will be offended by..” – excerpt from the official statement.
Non-Colored Holiday, it shall be.
Woken News reporters were on the scene when the announcement was dropped and spoke to Earl, an official spokesman for white men and an avid lawn enthusiast.
“We tried to tell these idiots it’s just a song but they’ll complain about anything”
Recorded and released in 1942, who knew we would finally find it’s faults after all these years.
Article Guest Writer: James Woodend
*Woken News is a satirical news website and our articles are strictly for entertainment purposes. Explore our “About” page for more information.