The Yule log isn’t the only thing that’ll be blazin’ this year.
Early this morning, Santa Claus was found passed out in front of the Smith family’s Christmas tree. He was said to have eaten 4 chocolate chip cookies. Little did he know they were chocked full of marijuana.
Read More: Cast Your Vote For Meme Of The Decade
“We decided to get a little creative with the Christmas cookies this year.” said Debra Smith, a longtime resident of Denver. “I figured it would be a nice little surprise for Santa. I hope I didn’t ruin Christmas.”
Upon waking up, Santa assured everyone that he would be fine and back on the job in no time. “Luckily, Mrs. Claus packed me some pure Colombian ‘Christmas Snow’. I’ll be able to get straightened out in no time.”
Santa was last seen stumbling out of the Smith’s house and into his sleigh, wearing Ray Ban sunglasses and smoking a cigarette. What a legend.
*Woken News is a satirical news website and our articles are strictly for entertainment purposes. Explore our “About” page for more information.