Happy Chicken Farm Shut Down After Cocaine-Fueled Poultry Orgy.

“Our chickens are happier than you’ll ever be.” – said the motto of this has-been business.

Earlier this Thursday, a Wisconsin poultry farm was shut down after health investigators found “potential hazards to human life and well-being.”


Authorities claim large quantities of untested and illegal substances were found in fodder.

Our sources opting to remain unidentified informed us that the operation was triggered as footage of breeding animals under the influence of drugs was released on popular porn site dubbed “Cocaine-fueled chicken orgy.”


The video was unavailable at the time of writing this article, but a multitude of comments have found it disturbing and revolting, with some supporting the happiness of the chicken but preferring if they “found a room” and a weird sicko calling it “dope.”

Management could face up to 20 years for animal abuse and endangerment. Their released statement claims it was their “moral obligation to do everything” in their power to keep their animals happy and an epidemic of post-slaughter poultry depression pushed them to take the drastic measure.

Police refused to comment on the ongoing investigation.

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