Slugs Are Just Caterpillars With Depression, Study Shows

Depression affects millions of people across the planet. But according to a new study, 100% of slugs actually suffer from the sads as well.

The study was performed by the very prestigious Institute of Learning Science and Knowledge. It consisted of taking deceased slugs and studying their brains. The results were astounding.

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“We found that slugs have incredibly low levels of energy caused by the regret of not being a cooler bug like a centipede or a caterpillar. This regret triggers a severe form of depression that cannot be reversed. We are currently working on developing a Prozac for slugs. We just want the little guys to be happy.” – Lead Researcher at the Institute of Learning Science and Knowledge

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The researchers involved in the study are now pushing for people to start referring to slugs as “depressed caterpillars”. They are also looking into developing an online therapy app similar to Better Help, but for slugs. Initial testing of the app was cut short due to the fact that slugs can’t speak.

“Once we get these slugs to speak up, we think we can fix their depression. Communication is very important in treating mental illness.” – Lead Developer for Better Help: Slug Edition

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