Florida mom Karen, dissatisfied with Alien, requests to speak with Area 51 manager

As many of us probably expected, Karen has already made her appearance at the heavily guarded Airforce base with a strongly worded complaint over her illegally obtained Alien.

Karen Garber, 43, from Jacksonville, Florida arrived just before closing at Area 51 to speak with the manager.

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“We aren’t really sure how she made it past the guard.” said an officer. “We heard a knock on the employee entrance door, I thought someone forgot their key card but it was a stocky woman with an ombre bob and kapri jeans. I’ve never seen the women in my life.”

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Officials say that Karen was not alone. “She had a fuckin grey alien with her, clinging to her wrist. Long story short, she said the alien was leaking plasma all over her condo and was malnourished. She didn’t know what it ate so she brought it back.”

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The alien was taken back but Karen refused to leave unless a manager would make her trip worth her time. She was given a $25 gift card to Chili’s and a handful of Khol’s cash that the women in the office pitched in for a reimbursement.

*Woken News is a satirical news website and our articles are strictly for entertainment purposes. Explore our “About” page for more information.

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