Newest Eco Car Powered By The Tears Of Environmentalists

With climate change causing rapid, irreversible damage to the environment, all living things are now at risk of extinction.

Woken Contributor: Maddy D.

One of the biggest contributors to this agonising torture of our home planet is greenhouse gas emissions, but one company thinks they’ve found the solution.

In an interview with an EcoCars spokesperson on Monday, it was revealed that their revolutionary new design can run solely on the tears of it’s driver.

“What we found in our initial research was a staggeringly high population of people that were extremely distraught at the poor state of the planets health and how little was being done to make it better. So we thought, ‘how can we take this despair and turn it into something good for the planet?’ And that’s how we came up with the idea for the Cryosphere.”

With a TV screen built into the dash that streams constant documentary footage and latest news about ecological disasters caused by climate change, users will have no problem keeping the tears flowing and their cars running smoothly.

“The Cryosphere runs just as well as any toxic fume producing diesel or petrol car, and is very easy to use. You simply hop in, turn on the built in TV screen, hook yourself up the tear-extractor and away you go.”

As it produces absolutely no harmful emissions, it is currently the most eco-friendly model in production, and forecast to solve climate change by 2050.

With production well under way, the Cryosphere is set to officially enter the public market at the end of the month.

*Woken News is a satirical news website and our articles are strictly for entertainment purposes. Explore our “About” page for more information.

SUBSCRIBE VIA EMAIL!

Enter your email address to subscribe to WNN and receive notifications of new satirical articles by email.

Leave a Reply

Up ↑