Ant-Man Recovering From A Severe Case Of Pink-Eye After Failed Attempt To Crawl Up Thanos’ Ass

As we all know by now, Ant-Man didn’t actually crawl up Thanos’ ass and expand in order to kill him in the last installment of Avengers. Or did he?

According to a deleted scene discovered in the depths of the Internet, Ant-Man can be seen attempting to crawl up Thanos’ ass. However, he got stuck in a spot where he was not able to expand.

Read More: Steve Irwin gets reimagined as a Pokémon trainer and I’m literally crying

An anonymous cast member witnessed the event and claims he was stuck in there for at least two hours. With very little air and a whole lot of fecal matter surrounding him, he contracted a serious case of pink-eye.

“Poor guy. I can’t imagine being up there for a minute, let alone 2 hours. It must have been so scary.” – anonymous cast member of Avengers: Endgame

Read MoreBirds Are Drones And The Power Lines Are Actually Charging Stations

Hospital records were discovered and show that he has spent over 3 weeks in the hospital. He was in the ICU for 10 days before being released to a regular care unit. Doctors say it was touch-and-go for a few days and initially gave him a 10% chance of surviving. They now expect him to make a full recovery.

Read More: New Study Shows That Breathing Air Is LinkedTo Staying Alive

I think we can all agree that it’s a good thing he survived. It would be a real shame to see everyone’s 27th favorite superhero die.

Woken News is a satirical news website and our articles are strictly for entertainment purposes. Explore our “About” page for more information.


Enter your email address to subscribe to WNN and receive notifications of new satirical articles by email.

Leave a Reply

Up ↑