Mississippi Family Finds Jesus In Their Dog’s Ass

A Mississippi family is rejoicing after they realized their doggo has the image of the son of god radiating from his asshole.

Shortly after the Gains family witnessed their pastor swing in from the rafters of their Baptist Church in Southhaven, Mississippi, Jim Gains saw a dirt mural steaming out of his canines brown eye.

“It’s a funny story: I had about 2 or 10 mimosas that morning (before, during & after church) and then switched over to bourbon, naturally – anyway I was starting to nod off when the dog turned around and I saw jesus winking back at me. Only it was my dog releasing a fart. I was so awe struck I sat up, got off the chair, knelt down and open mouth kissed the image of Jesus.”

An intoxicated Jim Gains

Jim Gains passed out after that and woke up to an empty house. Apparently when he saw the image in his dogs ass it was actually during a super bowl party where friends, family and Jim’s children witnessed him performing cunnilingus on the neighbors dog.

This old dude tongue punched a dog’s fart box lmao

Rando at the party

Also interesting enough, Jim has early stages of dementia and was last seen in Florida. He has a history of crashing children’s parties and smashing their faces into their birthday cakes.


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