Dogs Lick Us Because We Have Bones Inside And They Want Them, Scientists Say

Doggo’s love their bones! But could we be confusing the lickos and tongue blips we know and love as their kisses for our bones potential at a heckin’ good taste?

Cynologist Karen Wilburn is an expert doge psychologist who seems to believe that our best friends have a more sinister agenda when they bath us in their saliva.

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They want to eat us, yeah. Our skin has salt which makes it even more appetizing but ultimately they know what is hiding below.

Dr. Wilburn (Cynologist)

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Karen insists that if we buy a bone for them once a week to eat on we have a better chance of curbing their cravings.

Just be sure to always keep their bowls full of crunches and plenty of water to maintain your families safety.

*Woken News is a satirical news website and our articles are strictly for entertainment purposes. Explore our “About” page for more information.

28 thoughts on “Dogs Lick Us Because We Have Bones Inside And They Want Them, Scientists Say

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  1. When my baby comes licking my arm at 3-4 am It’s because she can’t hold it any longer and needs outside This is so Stupid

  2. Stupidest fucking supposed doctor iv ever heard of. This is beyond complete idiocracy. I can’t even begin to have enough space or time to show and prove how ignorantly wrong this is . There is literally millions of examples of how fucked up this thinking is and wrong . I personally have 50+ years of proving this wrong with our own dogs as a breeder and trainer . Omg this is insane. How is it possible for these types of people to get accredited In ANYTHING.

    1. It’s fucking satire you chump!!! Stop being such a moany cunt with ZERO sense of humour and get on with life.

  3. This is hilarious! What makes it even more hilarious is that some people can’t even recognize something this goofy as satire!

  4. This is stupid. Next they will be saying that they lick themselves because they want the bones inside them. Or they want to eat all of their puppies. LMAO!

  5. I had a chihuahua that liked to try to lick in my nostrils. No doubt she was going for my brain. Yup. And that cute rescue I had for years, always licking my arm or face . . . I get it now. Thank you for learning me what it’s all about.

  6. Conclusion:

    It is not permissible to keep dogs except for hunting or guarding livestock and crops, and it is permissible to keep them for guarding houses so long as that is outside the city and that there is no other means of guarding the house. The Muslim should not imitate the kuffaar by running with the dog or touching its mouth and kissing it, which causes many diseases.

    Praise be to Allaah for this pure and perfect sharee’ah, which came to set people’s spiritual and worldly affairs straight, but most people do not realize.

    And Allaah knows best

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