Max Stoker (17) of Stiff Rigg County was rushed to the hospital Tuesday from an apparent accident in his home. Sources say the 17yr old began to scream from inside his bedroom when his parents went rushing to help.
“Me and his step mom was sittin there watchin tv when it sounded like a damn tree branch snapped and then we heard a thud. I thought maybe one of the limbs from our tree broke and smashed the my ol’ ladies bird feeder again. Then we heard Maxy start screaming and I ran to his room. The door was locked when we got to it,” said Stoker’s father, “it makes sense why. Layin face down with only his shirt on, ass up and blankets all tied around his legs. It’s incredible how he managed to even become stuck in that position, tell ya the truth.”
Max was carried out to their family truck and driven to the hospital where he was given a mild sedative to relax him.
“It’s what we call penile fracture”, said Dr. Gaia, “it is a severe form of bending injury to the erect penis that occurs when a membrane called the tunica albuginea tears. The tunica albuginea surrounds the corpora cavernosa, specialized spongy tissue in the core of the penis that fills up with blood during an erection. He basically rekt his dick lolol.”
The school set up a go fund me for the student claiming respect was needed to be paid.
“F. Lmao! He only needed to do it 4 times, like, how do you even do that!?” A classmate said.
Another classmate noted, “All the money we raise will be spent on V bucks. Finna get that Criterion skin for the boi’s, fam!”
Max has made a full recovery and is expected back in school next week.
Its safe to say he won’t be finishing DDD this year. F.