Reddit normie dies from ‘orgasm shock’ on day 1 attempting day 31 of DDD

Destroy Dick December has begun and it’s already taken the life of an amateur participant.Florida man Kyle Braun was pronounced dead in the bathroom of the accounting office where he worked after he attempted to masterbate 31 times just hours after a (semi) successful No Nut November. A rookie move for anyone with a strong understanding of the month’s rules.

Everyone on December 1st @ 00:00[15]sec AM
Long time coworker Ross Flipmann (37) was very close with Braun and expressed a deep sadness when he heard the news.

“I recently showed him Reddit and he was hooked.┬áHe still didn’t understand what ‘press F‘ meant. I tried explaining it to him while we wasted time looking at memes. I guess it’s a bit ironic now..but..F..”

Updated bathroom policy

The company branch manager emailed us hours later paying his respects to Kyle and his family but warned about the dangers of Destroy Dick December:

“You absolutely CAN NOT jump straight to day 31 of DDD. That’s a death wish, my friend. F. I only wish i knew he was participating so i could have warned him about ‘orgasm shock’. Ross should have told him though. Dick move on his part. No pun intended.”

Reference calander

November lowered the tolerance of many young women and men. Stay safe and don’t ever be like Kyle.

SUBSCRIBE VIA EMAIL!

Enter your email address to subscribe to WNN and receive notifications of new satirical articles by email.

Leave a Reply

Up ↑