Video: Absolute Mad Lad buckles grandma with a power flex

Suburban badboi Kevin “Slik Kix” Williams(15), more commonly refered to as “Crisscross Applesauce”, has a long history of snapping ankles when he finds himself swimming in the paint and even his own grandmother is no exception.
Kevin’s longtime friend Kyle Sorrell(14) had the camera turned on that day and describes him as “an absolute unit to ball with.”

“Listen, Kevin does not mess around. At all. Ball is life for him so when his grandma stepped up he wasn’t about to be no bitch.” Sorrell said. “He did what he do best. It just be like that sometimes.”

I reached out to Kevin’s Grandmother, Blanch Williams(82), and showed her the video from that day. I was told a much different side to the story.

“I just think it’s funny..” she said, taking a long drag from her cigarette, “they post that video of me falling but i’ve never seen the ones where i’m pwning his ass.” She said. “He didn’t even fake me out. I was lit that day and I lost my balance. Like, he and his friends wear knee high socks with sandles and Fortnite dance all the time. He flossed over top of me after I ate it. Who does that?! He is such a virgin pussy. They all are.” She ranted.

Kevin’s parents did not respond to our request for comment but I would bet that Blanch speaks for everyone in the Williams household.

SUBSCRIBE VIA EMAIL!

Enter your email address to subscribe to WNN and receive notifications of new satirical articles by email.

Leave a Reply

Up ↑