In a shocking new study published in the Journal of Actual Real Science this week, it seems the doorbell industry is facing total collapse at the hands of the worst generation in history.
Continue reading “Millenials are killing the Doorbell Industry by texting ‘here’”
Florida has a new sheriff in town and he’s pissed off at his mom. Hide your drywall, hide your Monsters because Kyle is causing property damage all across Florida state.
Continue reading “Florida teen, Kyle, arrested for stealing Monster Energy drinks and punching holes in drywall at a Home Depot”“Top 60 Satire Websites and Blogs on the Web” – Ranking by Feedpost.com
Have rocks been lying to us all this time? A geologist in North Dakota claims that rocks are actually incredibly soft and squishy and tense up only when humans touch them.
Continue reading “Rocks Are Actually Soft and Squishy – They Just Tense Up When We Touch Them”
A new theory has emerged that suggests birds are not real and the power lines they perch on are charging stations.
Continue reading “Birds Are Drones And The Power Lines Are Actually Charging Stations”
Doggo’s love their bones! But could we be confusing the lickos and tongue blips we know and love as their kisses for our bones potential at a heckin’ good taste?
Continue reading “Dogs Lick Us Because We Have Bones Inside And They Want Them, Scientists Say”
We all know the story of Al Gore claiming that he invented the Internet. But now, the former presidential candidate and fear-monger expert is claiming that he invented the “Algorithm”, hence the name. Continue reading “Al Gore Is Now Claiming That He Invented “AlGorithms””
Following the back and forth last week between both countries, Iran has begun strengthening their forces in preparation for a potential war with the U.S.
Continue reading “Iranians are preparing their Airforce for WW3”
An elderly woman in Nepals, FL. stopped an attempted robbery when she offered the man her famous Rosemary Lamb Shanks.
Continue reading “Wholesome: Would-be Robber Leaves With A Full Stomach Instead Of Grandma’s Jewelry Box”
While pretty much everyone on the Internet (including us) has been debating the meme of the decade for the last month, one notable legend has been forgotten: Shaggy. And he’s reportedly back with a vengeance to claim his rightful throne as the greatest meme of the decade. Continue reading “Shaggy Uses 0.69% of His Power to Re-Emerge One Last Time Before End of Decade. Nice.”
In a startling announcement from the Faux World Constitution and Parliament Association earlier today, Dr. Luka Trulala has declared No Homo be cancelled for the new year in 2020.
Continue reading “No Homo Is Cancelled For 2020”
🎼 I’m dreaming of a non.. colored holiday.. 🎼
Continue reading “Controversial: ‘White Christmas’ To Be Renamed ‘Non-Colored Holiday’.”
The Yule log isn’t the only thing that’ll be blazin’ this year. Continue reading “Santa Gets High, Passes Out After Eating Edible Christmas Cookies at Colorado Home”
According to multiple sources, the nice but mostly unhelpful lady in your phone has gone AWOL. Continue reading “Apple Can’t Find Siri And She’s Been Missing For Weeks, per sources”
A Florida man shocked the world as he successfully de-escalated a bar fight this weekend. I know – unbelievable. Continue reading “Florida Man Shockingly Resolves Conflict At Local Bar”
A 23-year-old man from California claims he died this weekend after a 36-hour binge session of Disney Channel Original Movies. However, he was given a second chance in the form of the X button on a PS4 controller. Continue reading “Man Presses X After Dying, Comes Back to Life”
Earlier this year, we wrote about a woman giving birth to a fucking pizza. But a woman in Albuquerque just took it up a notch by giving birth to identical twin tacos. Yes, you read that right – tacos. Continue reading “Woman Gives Birth to Twin Tacos”
In an unbelievable turn of events, a discovery was made this morning that Baby Yoda is actually played by Kevin Hart – actor, comedian, and son of Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson. Continue reading “Baby Yoda is Actually Played by Kevin Hart, per sources”
As if The Rock hasn’t already given us enough with his on-screen performances in movies like Baywatch, The Tooth Fairy, and The Game Plan. Now he’s given us all an early Christmas present: a happy and healthy Baby Yoda! Continue reading “Heartwarming: The Rock Gives Birth To A Healthy Baby Yoda”
🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸 America: Fu•k Yeah! 🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸
Continue reading “Thanksgiving: Millions Of Americans Giving Thanks For Annual Retail Purge.”
As if 40 pizzas in 30 days wasn’t incredible enough. The Papa himself has vowed to try and beat his Guinness World Record (probably) of 40 pizzas in 30 days by eating 41 pizzas next month. Wow! Continue reading “Papa John Says He Will Attempt to Eat 41 Pizzas in December”
Last week, Elon Musk unveiled Tesla’s newest creation, the “Cybertruck” and the memes quickly followed.
‘Nicolas Cage will be played by John Travolta in the new Nicolas Cage movie.’ reports Forbidden News.
Continue reading “Nicolas Cage will be played by John Travolta in the new Nicolas Cage movie.”
Imagine, you’re home and in your pajamas. You just spent the entire day binge watching The Office, like you always do, making zero effort to look like a productive member of society and then needing like just one or two things from the grocery store. Its 6pm and you decide to take a chance and go. Continue reading “Looking like garbage increases your chance of seeing people you know at the store by 90%, study shows”
“Our chickens are happier than you’ll ever be.” – said the motto of this has-been business.
Continue reading “Happy Chicken Farm Shut Down After Cocaine-Fueled Poultry Orgy.”
An elderly woman was rushed to the hospital last week for “panic attacks” after her super-hip, Millennial grandson repeatedly responded with “OK Boomer” to everything she said.
Continue reading “Woman Hospitalized by ‘OK Boomer’ Comments, Calls it the N-Word of Ageism”
