As the popularity of cycling continues to rise, so too does the number of ways in which cyclists are managing to piss off other members of society. Gone are the days when drivers were the only ones feeling the wrath of spandex-clad two-wheeled warriors – now, it seems that even the blue-collar railroad worker is... Continue Reading →
It’s recently come out that the recent blockbuster ‘Black Adam’ starring Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson was a box office bomb. It has only made $387 million globally after the first 7 weeks in theaters. It needed to make $600 million to break even and experts claim it will most likely stall out around $400 million... Continue Reading →
There has recently been a lot of speculation surrounding Zac Efron and his ever-changing appearance. It now seems we have an answer as to why he ruined his perfect face - it’s for the role of a lifetime. Zac Efron will be displaying his acting chops as Lord Farquaad in the new live-action remake of... Continue Reading →
In a shocking new study published in the Journal of Actual Real Science this week, it seems the doorbell industry is facing total collapse at the hands of the worst generation in history. Woken Contributor: Maddy D. Read More: Beethoven Was Not Deaf, He Had In Airpods™ And Everyone Around Him Was Broke, New Theory Suggest... Continue Reading →
Have rocks been lying to us all this time? A geologist in North Dakota claims that rocks are actually incredibly soft and squishy and tense up only when humans touch them. Geologist Gina Worthing has been studying rocks for years. When researching the hardness of rocks, she noticed something very peculiar. Read More: Millenials are... Continue Reading →
A new theory has emerged that suggests birds are not real and the power lines they perch on are charging stations. Read: Rocks Are Actually Soft and Squishy – They Just Tense Up When We Touch Them Also: Steve Irwin gets reimagined as a Pokémon trainer and I’m literally crying Oh and this: New Study... Continue Reading →
Doggo's love their bones! But could we be confusing the lickos and tongue blips we know and love as their kisses for our bones potential at a heckin' good taste? Cynologist Karen Wilburn is an expert doge psychologist who seems to believe that our best friends have a more sinister agenda when they bath us... Continue Reading →
In a shocking turn of events, the newest face to grace the iconic Mt Rushmore is none other than internet sensation "Chestnuts roasting on an open fire” guy. “Chestnuts roasting” guy, also known as AnucAtittawan on Smule, recently went viral with an incredible rendition of the Nat King Cole classic “A Christmas Song”. Check it... Continue Reading →
In a shocking revelation, a new theory has emerged that suggests that the dinosaurs were not a real species that roamed the earth millions of years ago, but were actually created by the CIA to scare people and prevent them from attempting to travel back in time. According to the theory, the CIA, in an... Continue Reading →
It was a night to remember at the local comedy club, as stand-up comedian Johnny Trenboloni took the stage and shocked the audience with a daring new routine. After opening with a few jokes to warm up the crowd, Johnny did something that no one had ever seen before. He sat down. At first, the... Continue Reading →
Joe Rogan, the controversial and wildly popular podcaster, has announced a major change to his show. In an effort to "reach new levels of consciousness and clarity," Rogan will now spend the first three hours of each episode in complete silence, meditating on various philosophical and spiritual topics. But don't worry - the second half... Continue Reading →
Brian Johnson, aka Liver King, has recently come under fire for allegedly using steroids after claiming he’s 100% natural. The popular YouTube channel “More Plates More Dates” recently uploaded a video showing an overwhelming amount of evidence that the Liver King actually takes several steroids such as omnitrope, deca, winstrol, and many more. However, Liver... Continue Reading →
Contrary to popular belief, the covid vaccine will have the new U2 album inserted into your body instead of an all knowing location tracking microchip. Many are arguing that they would rather have a microchip capable of knowing your mood, eating habits and location as opposed to an invasive U2 album. In 2014 U2 released... Continue Reading →
A biologist-turned-entrepreneur Jackson Fitzpatrick has turned the straw industry on its head with his new invention: straws made from turtles. Fitzpatrick said he thought of the idea after struggling to drink a Frappuccino with a paper straw from Starbucks. “The straw fell apart after two sips and was completely useless. It was a horrible experience.... Continue Reading →
