In a shocking new study published in the Journal of Actual Real Science this week, it seems the doorbell industry is facing total collapse at the hands of the worst generation in history.
Continue reading “Millenials are killing the Doorbell Industry by texting ‘here’”
Florida has a new sheriff in town and he’s pissed off at his mom. Hide your drywall, hide your Monsters because Kyle is causing property damage all across Florida state.
Continue reading “Florida teen, Kyle, arrested for stealing Monster Energy drinks and punching holes in drywall at a Home Depot”“Top 60 Satire Websites and Blogs on the Web” – Ranking by Feedpost.com
Have rocks been lying to us all this time? A geologist in North Dakota claims that rocks are actually incredibly soft and squishy and tense up only when humans touch them.
Continue reading “Rocks Are Actually Soft and Squishy – They Just Tense Up When We Touch Them”
A new theory has emerged that suggests birds are not real and the power lines they perch on are charging stations.
Continue reading “Birds Are Drones And The Power Lines Are Actually Charging Stations”
Doggo’s love their bones! But could we be confusing the lickos and tongue blips we know and love as their kisses for our bones potential at a heckin’ good taste?
Continue reading “Dogs Lick Us Because We Have Bones Inside And They Want Them, Scientists Say”
In an unbelievable turn of events, a discovery was made this morning that Baby Yoda is actually played by Kevin Hart – actor, comedian, and son of Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson. Continue reading “Baby Yoda is Actually Played by Kevin Hart, per sources”
As if The Rock hasn’t already given us enough with his on-screen performances in movies like Baywatch, The Tooth Fairy, and The Game Plan. Now he’s given us all an early Christmas present: a happy and healthy Baby Yoda! Continue reading “Heartwarming: The Rock Gives Birth To A Healthy Baby Yoda”
🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸 America: Fu•k Yeah! 🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸
Continue reading “Thanksgiving: Millions Of Americans Giving Thanks For Annual Retail Purge.”
As if 40 pizzas in 30 days wasn’t incredible enough. The Papa himself has vowed to try and beat his Guinness World Record (probably) of 40 pizzas in 30 days by eating 41 pizzas next month. Wow! Continue reading “Papa John Says He Will Attempt to Eat 41 Pizzas in December”
Last week, Elon Musk unveiled Tesla’s newest creation, the “Cybertruck” and the memes quickly followed.
‘Nicolas Cage will be played by John Travolta in the new Nicolas Cage movie.’ reports Forbidden News.
Continue reading “Nicolas Cage will be played by John Travolta in the new Nicolas Cage movie.”
Imagine, you’re home and in your pajamas. You just spent the entire day binge watching The Office, like you always do, making zero effort to look like a productive member of society and then needing like just one or two things from the grocery store. Its 6pm and you decide to take a chance and go. Continue reading “Looking like garbage increases your chance of seeing people you know at the store by 90%, study shows”
“Our chickens are happier than you’ll ever be.” – said the motto of this has-been business.
Continue reading “Happy Chicken Farm Shut Down After Cocaine-Fueled Poultry Orgy.”
An elderly woman was rushed to the hospital last week for “panic attacks” after her super-hip, Millennial grandson repeatedly responded with “OK Boomer” to everything she said.
Continue reading “Woman Hospitalized by ‘OK Boomer’ Comments, Calls it the N-Word of Ageism”
“What do you mean by my ‘fedora isn’t considered a trait’?” – Local Hipster, 21
Continue reading “Hipsters Forced To Find A Personality After Being Declared A Trend.”
Thanks to Woken News, we all now know that breathing air is linked to staying alive. But new reports suggest that air might be the human equivalent to Superman’s kryptonite. Continue reading “Air is Poisonous to Humans; It Just Takes a Long Time to Kill Us, Report Says”
Her culture is not your costume.
Continue reading “Slutty Costumes Banned For Appropriating Your Mom”
Next epic romantic saga in “White People Almost Kissing In The Rain”.
Continue reading “Coming Soon To Theatres: The Facebook”
A Twitter user by the name of @Babyshoujo tweeted a picture of a starfish with an ass that may very well put the Kardashians to shame.
Imagine you’re next in line for lunch after having been called gay for wearing your favorite fedora.
Continue reading “69% of high schoolers say they feel soothed when lunch ladies call them ‘suga’ or ‘baby’. Nice.”
Whether it’s truly wanting to die or just pure indifference to staying alive, Millennials all over the world are doing the unthinkable by volunteering to be euthanized for scientific research. Continue reading “Millennials are volunteering to be euthanized for scientific research”
They’ve finally done it!
Continue reading “Engineers Have Finally Developed A Dildo Big Enough To Satisfy Your Mom.”
It’s truly a remarkable feat that many doctors and scientists are calling a miracle. Elderly people with Alzheimer’s are becoming super-humans right before our very eyes. Continue reading “People with Alzheimer’s are starting to float because they forgot about gravity”
The long awaited day that millions of us lied about going to is finally here and it’s only about to get bigger.
Continue reading “Florida teen Kyle starts massive mosh pit with the first thousand people outside Area 51”
